Discount

Discount Jokes

Slave

What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

Kelly Clarkson

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

Gun shop

I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.

Gun shop

I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.

Emo

I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.

It gave me a discount!

Grandma

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

Emo

Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.

Johnny Depp

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.

Man

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

Emo

Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?

Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!

Kid

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Emo

Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

Emo

Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.

Half

I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.

Friend

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.