An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off!
Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?
He heard boys' pants were half off!
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
