Disabled jokes
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Why can’t the disabled kid live on the corner?
Because he’s disabled.
What did Andrew Tate say to the fat kid?
"I miss you."
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
Did you hear about the TikTok post that offended disabled people? Some didn't reply because the comment section was disabled.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!