Disabled jokes
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
Why does five plus five equal eleven?
Because it's actually six.
I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair and screamed, "Rocket League!"
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.