Disability jokes
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"
What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?
"An RC-XD!"
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
I gave a deaf kid AirPods.
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be the real Slim Shady?
Because he can't stand up, can't stand up.
Your disabled joke on you can't stand.