How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Disability Jokes
Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?
Answer: No, neither did he.
Why did Stephen Hawking walk across the road? Oh wait...
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
Hint: he didn’t.
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
What is the definition of "Endless Love"?
Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
What do you call a disabled person in a fire?
"HOT WHEELS!"
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
