Disability jokes
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
God: “Stephen, join us!”
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: “Shit!”
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
How do you punish a blind guy?
You leave a plunger in the toilet.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
When the school shooter shoots the autistic kid and he thinks he's having an orgasm.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.