Disability jokes
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
Q: What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A: Putting them back in their wheelchair.
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football? Because he got all the downs.
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
You leave the plunger in the toilet.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
How did Steven Hawking die? His WiFi disconnected.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.