Disability jokes

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?

Runner beans.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?

Hot Wheels.

Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.

How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?

Shut off his computer.

What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.

I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.

An autistic kid.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?

I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.

I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"

What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels.

Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

Your disabled joke on you can't stand.

Son: Dad, what's dark humor?

Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?

Son: No, I'm blind.

What do you call Autistic kids baking?

"Downies" with brownies.

What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.

What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."