Disability jokes
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"