Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
Disability Jokes
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
