Disability jokes
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
*Windows turning off*
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
A paraplegic walks into a bar...
It's funny because he can't walk.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
'cus there was only a stairway to heaven!
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.
He'd break if he did.
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."