Dis jokes
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
Memes
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
I want to di... dive! Yeah!
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.