Dis jokes
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.
Memes
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
My dad died during 9/11, he was the best pilot in all Saudi Arabia.
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
The reason Steven Hawking died is he lost his internet connection.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.