An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A man will actually look for the golf ball.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
Sex is like math.
You add a bed.
Subtract the clothes.
Divide the legs.
And pray you don’t multiply.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.