Die jokes
Do you have dark humor?
Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
U die from robot bite.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.
rip my bird he died :(
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Where are people sent to die?
Ross Hall academy.
Stephen Hawking died because he turned off his VPN.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.