Die jokes
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
I wanna die cos I lost my horse on Minecraft.
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
Why did Stephen die so early?
He didn't use long lasting batteries.