Die jokes
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
How did Technoblade actually die?
He got stabbed!
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!