Die jokes

I want to die.

Race car backwards is race car.

Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

Because it died.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

His Windows update wasn't available.

How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.

Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.

My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.

I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...

Allahu Akbar!

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

Check out my YouTube Channel! (Gamer Zacoo01).

What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?

"Rust in pieces!"

I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.

We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.

A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."

Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."

Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."

Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.