My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.
Didnt Jokes
Why didn't the wife want sex?
Because they were having too many babies.
What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?
"It didn't happen, but it should have."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
How's your day going?
Shut up, I didn't ask.
Use code tiko#teamfish
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
