Di jokes

Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.

Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?

My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭

Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!

My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄

Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

His wife died.

God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔

My ex died today.

I also lost my job as a butcher.

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

The brunette brings canteens of water.

The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.

One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"

The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"

His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"

Someone dies.

What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?

Dark humor never dies!

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.