New Device Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

What do you call a phone that talks?

A reader in a leader.

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

Women say men are trash.

Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.

For all the Harry Potter fans:

A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.

My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?

Cutting-edge Technology.

What vibrates and is 6 inches?

A toothbrush.

What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.

Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.

I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(