New Device Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

What is a type of cancer that:

Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?

Easy, the answer is Fortnite.

What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.

My grandfather tells me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.

I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.

An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.

He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.

What do you say to a clock?

"What time is it?"

Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.

A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.

He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!

What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?

A home button.

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

"Why am I ugly?"

Google would like to operate your camera.

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.