Device jokes
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
My grandfather tells me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.