Delivery

Delivery Jokes

Twin Towers

What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?

Pizza deliveries get their orders right.

Mom

My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.

Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.

Forehead

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

Plane

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

Pizza

On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

Twin Towers

Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.

Santa

Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.

Steroid

A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!

Child

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Time

What is a paedo's favourite time of year?

Halloween because they get free delivery.

Mailman

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Mail man.

Mailman who?

Bitch, do you want your mail?

Doctor

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

Matt

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?

Matt!

Girl

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

Chimp

Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?

John: I don't know.

Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...