Delivery jokes
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!
Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?... Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and got plain.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!