Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, itβs DiGiorno!
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Why were 9/11 victims so mad? The ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
What kinda pizza did the twin towers order? Two plains
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop π
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
