Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.
What do you do when a baby starts to cry?
You use more lube.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
