My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
Dead Jokes
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
What is blue and wiggling on my floor?
A baby in a bag.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
Where is a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife is dead.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
NONCE
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
Why though?
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
