Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead
yo' mamas so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
2 hunter are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and and hunter #1 dials 911. Operator: "911 what's your emergency?" Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods fell asleep." Operator: "Check if he's / she's (not assuming genders) dead." *Operator hears a distant gunshot* Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield: Everywhere.
So a kid asks his dad, " Why was I born?" The dad replies, " I thought that girl was dead!"
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guys body they notice when they walk over he has a boner the first doctor decides why not fuck him he still has a boner left in him the 2nd says well he's dead and I I'm a virgin the 3d one says I can't I'm on my period and then says okey why not he already dead it's not like he doesn't smell bad after all that they go to walk out and the guy pops up and says thanks for saveing my life pumping blood back into my body...........
YALL IS UGLY
What Do You Sing On a Dead Person's Birthday? Happy Death-Day To You
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
What's worse than finding 1 dead baby in a bin? Finding 1 dead baby in 5 bins.
caesar went to the future only to see on how the roman's forgot Julius caesar but only made a salad... i think it would have been better if caesar stayed dead
what do you call a ear thats dead deaf hahaha oh wait...
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
What did the suicidal leperchaun say Irish i was dead
What ́s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
My girlfriend passed away recently.
at the funeral everyone was shocked about it
Still even when dead she is the best shag I've ever known
Me: *makes chuck norris meme* Internet: *all the other memes are dead now* Me: well shit.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.
