Dark jokes
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
Why did the orphans miss most of the basketball games?
They missed the homecoming games.
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
Why do people hate Velma now?
Because she joined the Dark Side.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
Dark humor is like food:
Not everyone gets it.
Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.