daddy's jokes
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."
Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.
As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.
I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?
Why can't orphans have sex?
They don't know who daddy is.
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
To have someone to call "daddy!"
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
Daddy, where's my anus?