Daddy jokes
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"
Marvin: "I don’t believe that."
Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"
The next morning,
Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"
*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*
Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
Your dad must be a mailman.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...