Daddy Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What do boobs and toys have in common? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."

Some people ask why jokes exist, I say when a mommy and daddy love each other very much they have sex and they make another one of you

Where does an orphan come from?

Daddy getting milk

So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says "get the belt" Johnny says "why?" His mother says "im gonna spank you for failing" Johnny says "so just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below

Trump: I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy Melania: Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy? Ivanka: Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy Pilot: Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why can’t orphans be gay. They don’t know who to call daddy

911, what’s your emergency? I asked, and listening to the quiet sobs of a litte kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me” the girl said and cried making me freeze on the spot as i recognized my daughter’s voice.

(there was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato and a baby tomato)

Baby: wait for me!

(father tomato walks back towards the baby)

(he squishes the child)

Father: Ketchup

School teacher: "Hey kid. why don't you just go home to your family?" Orphan: "My family never came back for me" School teacher: "Your daddy must of really needed that milk"

Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound, daddy has that game too!”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

why can't an orphan be gay.because they have no one to call daddy

One day little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parent's bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing he said playing cards, Little Johnny said who is your partner? dad said his mom on his way up he passed by his sisters room and noticed sheets Bouncing around and asked what she’s doing she said playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul. Next day dad came to ask Johnny a questions The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing he said playing cards. His dad asked him who is his partner was little johnny said you don’t need a partner if you have a good hand