Daddy jokes

Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?

Daddy never came back with the milk.

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

FUCK ME DADDY!!!!

When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.

Plz follow Freddyfatbear and Daddy cock.

What issues don't orphans have?

Daddy issues.

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

Why can’t orphans have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.

Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"

What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?

They both worry about how she will turn out!

A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.

That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.

That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"

The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.

"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.

The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"

Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"

Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."

What is an orphan's favorite video game?

"Who's Your Daddy?"

A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."

When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."

Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"

Son:...... um

What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?

Batman has no one to call "daddy."