Daddy

Daddy jokes

Orphan

    • An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.

    (Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")

    Bike

    • You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

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    • Daddy memes

    Sex

    • I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"

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    • Orphan

    • The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."

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    • Pornstar

    • Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"

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    • Sex

    • Jimmy caught his parents having sex and asked what they were doing and asked if he could join because it looked fun and his mom asked why and he replied, "Well, Mommy, I see you and the mailman do it, and when he leaves he says, 'I can't wait to cum back, that was fun!' and now you and Daddy are doing it, so I wanted to try!" The dad gets angry at this and scolds the mother saying, "I can't believe you did that when I was gone, babe!" The mother was very sad, and then the father left and went to get divorce papers, and when he left the mother told Jimmy that he'd understand when he was older.

    18 years later...

    Jimmy has a girlfriend and asks her to call him a sus name, and she says only in the bed, and he agrees. Later, when they both are having sex, Jimmy's girlfriend asks if he used a condom or not, and he said that he didn't know what that was, so then 9 months later, she was pregnant, but abortion was illegal, so she gives birth and puts the child up for adoption.

    A few years later, Jimmy has a good job and his wife now asked to have a child, and then she asked if she could call him a sus name while he did he, he said sure, and on they went with their clothes off and under the sheets. Jimmy gets a call from his boss saying he needed to go over really fast, it was an emergency, and so Jimmy left really fast. However, his wife was very unfaithful and called in a man to come as soon as possible, and then they did it. Jimmy came home after 10-18 hours and was very happy and went to tell his wife the great new, but then he heard strange sounds coming from the room and so he wen inside and was shocked to see his father and his wife having sex. Jimmy though didn't care that his wife had cheated on him he just said, "Well baby, tonight's your lucky night," and without any hesitation ripped off his clothes and jumped in the bed and they then had a threesome, and the wife said she was very happy that she had been done x2 and when Jimmy asked why she said,"Well I had two dicks in my vagina and now I'm so refreshed!" Jimmy was happy to hear that and then had a woman come over so that his wife and a woman would have a threesome again, and so then Jimmy saw that it was his mother and he really didn't want to do it, but his wife convinced him too and so he did it and his mother was going for Jimmy's wife more and more until Jimmy no longer was in the threesome and now only Jimmy's wife and his mother were doing it, this made Jimmy mad and this bit both of their boobs and they were shocked but then they pinned him down and bit his dick and then grabbed a bottle of alcohol and made him drink until he was drunk and then he started to eat their ass' and then called his father to come to have sex again and then they all had a foursome, the wife then called the police and had then all arrested and said," You all sucked" and Jimmy said," What about you too? You sucked me!" They all died of mental desires in jail. The end.

    Incest

    • Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*

    Daddy:...

    Timmy: Well come on diddy!

    Daddy: Well shit lets go son!

    Both: YEE YEE

    SWEET HOME ALABAMA

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    • Drink

    • One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

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    • Priest

    • A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

    “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

    The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”

    The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.

    “It’s really not your day, is it?”

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    • Incest

    • Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"

    Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"

    Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."

    Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".

    He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"

    Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."

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