Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some water, Jill pulled up her dress and said daddy fuck me harder.
Hi hunter. Emilly wrote this
Why do orphans love having sex?
Becuase They can finally call somebody daddy.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer."
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too.
By:Xzavier
“Daddy, what are those 2 things on mum’s chest?”. Asked Tom “Those are just....balloons”.said dad (Later) “Dad! I think mum’s dying!”said Tom. “Why?” Asked dad. “Because uncles blowing her balloons and she said “oh god im cumming!”
My sister said daddy can u pass the salt so i raped her
(there was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato and a baby tomato)
Baby: wait for me!
(father tomato walks back towards the baby)
(he squishes the child)
Father: Ketchup
Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?" Mommy xays, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play" A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter. Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so l she l took the sissors and cut them off."
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"
alright so i have a few orphan jokes im gonna put them all in one message.
why cant orphans be gay? they have no one to call daddy.
why cant orphans go on a field trip? parent signiture:______
new teacher: i used to be an orphan as a kid students:hahaha teacher: is anyone missing? students:no one just your parents
why did the orphan become a prostitute? they kept calling everyone daddy
why do orphans have the iphonex because it has no home button
your daddy must be a drug dealer because your dope
Child- Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa! Dad- Wait, why are you saying that? Child- I just felt like it The next day, the Grandpa is dead Dad- That's just a VERY scary coincidence. Child- Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma. Dad- Wait, why are you saying that? Child- I just felt like it. The next day, the Grandma is dead. Dad- That's just a VERY scary coincidence. Child- Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy! Dad- Oh no. If I survive until tommorow, everything will be okay! Survives until tmmrow Dad- Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house* Mom- Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch! (If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
I asked my daddy what sex was he said wanna cum and try it
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult "I know the whole truth" they will be all weird so he went home and told his mom "I know the whole truth" and she gave him 20$ and said to keep quiet. Pleased when his dad got home he said "I know the whole truth" and his dad gave him 40$ an said don't tell mom. really pleased he met the mailman the next day and said "I know the whole truth" then the mailman got down on his knee opened his arms and said come to daddy.
Yo daddy so poor when yo mama ask for sum child support money yo dad don’t have it🤣
What's the differnce between Batman and a gay person What batman has no one to call daddy
Roses aree red violets are blue Your daddy is gay so are you
Suck me off daddy in doing homework
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”
The mailman daddy to drop the mail off. Me ( son ) I and tell my mommy daddy home. Mommy tells me you got no daddy, then I say I hear you always call the mailman daddy.
