what the dif between u and my dad u come home
what's the difference between u your uncle your dad one didn't go in the closet
Your forehead is like my dad Non-existent
Little Johnny's sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, "That is my garage". The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?" Suzy says, " Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.
Jonny went to school one day and later that day his dad got a call saying he needs to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike Jonny was offered to ride the bike but he declined it and replied with my butt still hurts.
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrased and I cried with a-dult cry.
You know that you fuck better then dad? I know, mom say that too. (Tipical Alabama Family)
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.
Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.
Little Johnny: What are you doing?
Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.
Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: we don't want him
Orphan: And I took that, Personally-
Why did Billy fall off his bike? Because his dad threw a chair at him.
Your dad So stupid that when he jumped Fence the gate is open
want to hear a dad joke. look in the mirror you get the joke.
bruh ppl always makin jokes bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk
I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad nobody laughed at these jokes they just cried
I know how unicorns make baby’s the dad put his horn in the girls but hole
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck someone would die later that exact day she found out she had cancer.11 months later my grandpa died of a stroke I hope to see them in heaven I’d like to meet them pls comment good things I really really love them even though I didn’t get to meet them😭😭😭
Friend: my mum took my phone from me and i really want it back me: yeh, well Hades took my parents from me and the funny thing is, i don't want them back
Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!
( Btw I never actually did this irl yet)
So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why a made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying ) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.
I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!
i was at the club and thin my Dad walked up and said your 15 why are you high and at the club so i ran then my uncle was at the car and took me home so i was grouned then my boy friend came bc my parents wet out and we had sex and we where very loud my dad came home and walked in he had my bf pin me agenst the wall so my dad could spank me
