Dad

Dad Jokes

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps.on a cockroach. They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

Sister: (moaning) go get mom, she'd love this Me: but Billy's with her right now Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM Dad: hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment..

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend

Child- Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa! Dad- Wait, why are you saying that? Child- I just felt like it The next day, the Grandpa is dead Dad- That's just a VERY scary coincidence. Child- Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma. Dad- Wait, why are you saying that? Child- I just felt like it. The next day, the Grandma is dead. Dad- That's just a VERY scary coincidence. Child- Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy! Dad- Oh no. If I survive until tommorow, everything will be okay! Survives until tmmrow Dad- Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house* Mom- Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch! (If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)

A person walke's into the bar and said hey barman get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead Who said that

If you have a twin sister do you have the same name? Only if you’re mom and dad give you the same name

Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks; "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?" The mom replies with, "We are playing house," "We'll will let you play when you're older, " The dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny. Who was ironically Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older." After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother." His dad said.

what do you call a pig with two legs.....................Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa

what do you call a cow without any legs......... ground beef

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa