Currency jokes
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.
I will give you a nickel if you tickle my nickel pickle, Rick.
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.
I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, "You look like a million pounds!" The wife divorced him.
My friend lives in a caravan park. His parents named him Money because they thought it was a type of currency.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
No, "quarter quarter."