Currency

Currency jokes

Drunk

  • A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.

    Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'

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  • Spongebob

  • "Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]

    "Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]

    "How much have you found so far?"

    "Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]

    Bank

  • I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

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  • Slut

  • I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

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  • Boy

  • A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.