Currency jokes
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
I will give you a nickel if you tickle my nickel pickle, Rick.
No, "quarter quarter."
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.
One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.
One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.
The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"
Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
What is money called on the moon?
Mooney.
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls, two for under a buck!
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.