Currency jokes
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls, two for under a buck!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a dollar, four quarters pop out.
Penny.
If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.
Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, "You look like a million pounds!" The wife divorced him.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.
What has a head, a tail, but no body?
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.
One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.
One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.
The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"
Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."
I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
How do rappers make their money?
By dropping dimes.