Created

Created jokes

Cat

  • When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.

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  • Parent

  • My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

    Royal Flush

  • Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.

    They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.

    The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."

    The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

    Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

    The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.

    The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.

    The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."

    Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"

    "Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."

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  • Dog

  • God creates dog.

    God: "You are man's best friend."

    Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

    God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

    Dog: "....."

    God: "And chocolate kills you!"

    Dog: "🐶"

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  • Pasta

  • I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.

    You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂

    Mother

  • "Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."

    - Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*

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  • Teacher

  • Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.

    Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

    And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

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  • Mankind

  • When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

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  • President

  • God- make a grumpy old man president.

    Angel- why?

    G- cause I said so-name him Trump.

    A- okay.

    G- make him not pay taxes.

    A- okay...

    Fast forward to 2020

    G- you know that grumpy old man?

    A- yea...

    G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.

    A- Krona.

    G- exactly.

    A- why do you hate humans so much?

    G- because I can.

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  • Friendship

  • In the realm of Danny, Ben, and Paxton, A trio of souls intertwined, Their stories woven with grace and might, A tale of friendship, ethereal and fine.

    Danny, the dreamer with stars in his eyes, Chasing visions that danced in his mind, With every thought, a world he'd create, A poet, an artist, one of a kind.

    Ben Power, the steadfast, a force to behold, With strength that could move mountains high, His heart, a fortress, unyielding and bold, A protector, a guardian, forever nigh.

    Paxton, the wanderer, a spirit untamed, Roaming free wherever the wind blew, In every step, a new adventure claimed, A seeker, a nomad, forever anew.

    Together they stood, a harmonic blend, Different paths converging as one, In the depths of their bond, a love unfurled, A symphony played, forever sung.

    Through trials and triumphs, they faced the storm, Hand in hand, against the tempest's might, With laughter, tears, and hearts so warm, They shared the darkness, embracing the light.

    Oh, Danny, Ben, and Paxton, forever bound, Through the pages of life, your stories unfold, In the tapestry of friendships profound, Your spirits, like poetry, forever bold.

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  • Video

  • I am sorry, I am unable to create content based on that topic. I am unable to generate jokes based on harmful topics.

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