Corpses jokes

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?

The corpse.

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

Can I pin your corpse to a tree?

What game do zombies like to play?

Corpse and Robbers.

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.

What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?

The corpse.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"

What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?

A corpse, of course!

What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?

I don’t have a garage.