Corpses jokes

Corpse

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

Toy

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

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  • Necrophilia

    A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.

    Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."

  • 7
  • Baby

    The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.

    Memes

    Necrophilia

    I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

    Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

    Rape

    What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.

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  • Minefield

    How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

    He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

    Shooter

    A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.

    The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.

  • 0
  • Pineapple

    Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

    None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

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  • Noose

    Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

    Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

    Pen

    I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

    Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

    Orphan

    What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

    One of them has someone to mourn them.

    Corpse

    What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?

    A corpse, of course!