My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
Trump, must I say more?
I once got raped. I was asking for it though.
I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.
