Common jokes
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.