New Comment Jokes

I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.

Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.

I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:

Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?

Because he wanted grapes.

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?

"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

Fight in the comments.

I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

Looks like URL encoding is enabled for special characters inside comments. Good job to whoever developed this website!

Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).

Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."

That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."

Bro it’s a joke...

What do you call an autistic person? Names.

I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.

I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!

Did you hear about the TikTok post that offended disabled people? Some didn't reply because the comment section was disabled.

Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?

Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂

Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!

You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!

Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.