Comeback

Comeback jokes

Age

    • Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?

    Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?

  • 2

    • Orphan

    • So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.

  • 1

    • George Washington

    • Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?

    A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

  • 0

    • Wheelchair

    • What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?

    Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.

  • 0

    • Mom

    • Bully: "Nobody loves you."

    Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

  • 16
    • Comeback memes

    Question

    • When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."

    Grandma

    • Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?

    Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?

  • 1

    • Insult

    • Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

    Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

  • 0

    • Style

    • Repeat after me...

    Me: "You have a weird style."

    Mom: "You have a weird style."

    Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*

    Mistake

    • Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."

  • 5

    • Classmate

    • Bully: "You are so stupid!"

    Classmate: does nothing.

    Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"

    Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."

  • 2

    • Dick

    • Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."

    Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."

  • 14