Color jokes
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. My dad is gone to...
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
Why is he ourple?
What's big and black?
My balls.
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.
What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
What's green, red, and spins at 4000rpm?
A frog in a blender.
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit on the rainbow.
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.