Clock

Clock Jokes

Alarm Clock

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

Watch

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?

He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

Time

My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.

Mouse

The clock struck one!

Then down did come!

Hickory dickory doc

What am I?

Random- a mouse?

Me- no dumb shit!

Random- what is it?

Me- the guillotine!

Time

Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.

Donald Trump

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

Time

If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?

Day

One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.

Time

Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.