Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
I once made a belt out of clocks. It was a waist of time.
Chuck Norris and Time had a race...
Result: Time is still running...
I don't have time to write this joke.
A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
The clock struck one! Then down did come! Hickory dickory doc What am I? Random- a mouse? Me- no dumb $hit! Random- what is it? Me- the gillotine!
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
Why did jimmy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see time fly.
What do you say to a clock
What time is it?
A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says "that is mother teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" Ask's the man. Jesus answers "it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
If you eat a clock then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
one day I had the munchies,so I ate a clock it was very... TIME CONSUMING
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming
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Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"oh cool"
"this is mother Teresa's clock, the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense"
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
The number 13? Not on my watch
have you tryed eating a clock.......its TIME CONSUMING
I told my friend to look at the clock then I said. " is this a bad time
