What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
At work: Hey guys, I'm gonna Arnold clock out now.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
Chuck Norris and Time had a race.
Result: Time is still running...
I don't have time to write this joke.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
The clock struck one!
Then down did come!
Hickory dickory doc
What am I?
Random- a mouse?
Me- no dumb shit!
Random- what is it?
Me- the guillotine!
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
The number 13? Not on my watch!
