Classroom jokes

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?

My Chemical Romance.

At school, I love to have fun!

Your forehead is so big that the teachers used it as a whiteboard.

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

Why are my students so naughty?

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

The teacher asks me what my favourite word is.

I said it but got told off and sent to the principal.

What is my favourite word?

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"

When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

Vote for the better joke.

An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.

When the school shooter finds you under the table,

"Wonderful weather we're having!"

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

So three retards walk into a classroom...

Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.