Classroom jokes

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.

Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?

To the mew-seum!

Teacher: Why do people snore?

Me: Because they sleep.

My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.

What do you call a short person that goes to school?

A Sammie.

Teacher: What month is it?

Quiet kid: AUG-ust.

Classroom: Visible concern.

I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!

The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.

Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"

Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."

School.

The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

The students said, "Your parents."

The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright!