Classroom jokes
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
Lawrence in maths ;)
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
The teacher is asking you a question.
Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"
Me: "Dead."
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
I'm bored in class. Anyone wanna chat?
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."