Classroom jokes
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
Teacher: Why do people snore?
Me: Because they sleep.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
School.
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!