Classroom jokes
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Today in class, I screamed "Jenga!"
We were watching a 9/11 documentary.
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.