Classroom jokes
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
At school, I love to have fun!
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
I love school.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!
High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF!"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents!"
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.