What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.
How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite crisps?
Microchips 😂
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
