Chinese jokes

A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.

The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"

What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?

Some smile, others beam.

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"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

What do you call a Chinese person with 1 leg? Tie Son Whu.

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?

No, I'm blind.

Stop ruining my jokes.

Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?

It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.

Why can’t Chinese orphans play baseball?

They cannot run home.

Chinese always proud of their principle in business.

The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.

I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

*America shoots down balloon*

China: "You killed an innocent man!!"

USA: "What?!"

China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."

How did the Chinese chicken cross the road?

He wok-ed.

My favorite book is "Brown Spots on the Ceiling" by Ho Fung Poo.

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Som Ting Wong.

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.

I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"

He said, "Dogs."

I said, "Why?"

He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."

Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.