Childhood jokes
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
There's an upside to being an orphan; every snack they get is family size.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home. 😀😀
Why should you not let an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is. 😢
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)
When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."
A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?
Because the little boy had no legs.